Singleness: The Plague (Society's Perspective)

Disclaimer: This particular topic is a two part series. I'll be discussing singleness from the perspective of it being a curse and a gift, so before you get upset about the 1st part of this topic, hold off "going in" in the comment section until after you read part 2!!! And NOW......



SINGLENESS!!!!!

Is it a gift?
Is it a curse?
Is it a disease?


If I were to answer these questions based off what I see on social media and what I've heard from society I honestly would think being single means I have the bubonic plague or something. "I'm cursed because I'm NOT cuffed." "I'm diseased because I'm NOT dating." Everybody and they momma boo'd up and I'm still trying to figure out, What DO the lonely do at Christmas? LOL

WHY is it when a person is young, attractive, down to earth but single something has to be wrong with them?

WHY is it that if a woman is over 30, successful, living her BEST life, no kids, not dating she isn't truly happy? Why are we rushing her down the aisle and into a delivery room?

WHY do we label black men SPECIFICALLY from the ages of 25-40 that aren't in a relationship(exclusively) to be either "homosexual" or a "whoremonger"???

I honestly don't understand why people think others can't be truly happy in their singleness..... Why are we only focused on teaching our singles how to be found or how to be "THE ONE".....

Does it mean I'm less valuable because I am 31, with 2 kids and never been married? Is something wrong with me because I'm not in a relationship nor am I allowing anyone to pursue me right now?

My answer is: HECK NAW

But myself, as well as so many others begin to feel the pressure as if something is wrong with us, with the click of the mouse and the scroll of each screen. Social media has robbed so many people of the joy to truly be content in their singleness.

During the holidays we have family members asking when we're getting married and if you don't have children, questioning your biological clock. We finally make it through Christmas and we're embracing the New Year, New Me mantra. Only to be bombarded with Valentine's Day Ads a few weeks later.

Don't get me wrong love between 2 people is indeed a VERY beautiful thing. Self love is just as Beautiful!

Nearly 3 years ago I jumped into a relationship because I was approaching 30 and I was tired of being  alone. Feelings of inadequacy plagued me and I too thought something was surely wrong with me. So, when my NOW ex-boyfriend began to pursue me, I was so infatuated with the dates, gifts, alone time, cuddles, laughs and smiles that I jumped head first into a relationship that needed more time to be cultivated. Even though I got one of the biggest blessings from the relationship, My youngest son, the relationship didn't't last because I wasn't as heal and whole as I thought. So what could have been a beautiful thing quickly turned into a canker sore. The "plague" of singleness followed me even into a relationship.

I allowed society's perspective of singleness push me into something I wasn't mature or healed enough to handle at the time.

So society call it what you want plague, curse, disease but SINGLENESS isn't that bad to me....


STAY TUNED for Part 2....